i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
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