I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
