Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
someone owes me an orgasm
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize
