I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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