OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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