Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
