the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
