life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
