Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
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