sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
