Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
