He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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