I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
