fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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