woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
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