I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
