You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
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