Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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