Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
