oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
