Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
