In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
There's always time for handjobs
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Randomize
