Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
