stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Randomize
