He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Panties = found
Randomize
