i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Congratulations! We have a period
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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