i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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