when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
