that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
