Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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