I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Randomize
