What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Randomize
