It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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