As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
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