my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
