you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
