forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
