then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Randomize
