I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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