So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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