I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
