she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
