theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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