I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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