It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Randomize
