We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
this must be what syphilis tastes like
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
