you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Randomize
