booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
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