Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
foreskin is a definite game changer
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
