that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
