Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Randomize
