im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
